I'm sitting here in my studio listening to Etta James and wishing that I was out dancing at a dark little club with a suave Mr. Smith. Sometimes I wish I could experience different time periods. This weekend I will be transforming into Elizabeth Bennet for Halloween and I'm very excited about it. I would try to do an English accent all night long and maybe the kids will think i'm British as I paint their faces. ha.

Today was the first really cold feeling day and I kind of let it get me down. I don't like that feeling of my lungs being filled with freezing air and my fingers hurting and turning numb. I know I am in for a cold winter and I souldn't really let it get me down, but I just wasn't ready for it today. It has been so nice and pretty warm for the past weeks and today just took me by surprise. It was also dark when i was on my way home from school which is so not cool. The sun is like a life source and when it leaves before my evening before it has even started it makes me tired and kind of sad. At least I have Christmas to look forward to. I am excited for Thanksgiving too. I love going home and seeing the whole family and then putting up Christmas decorations the next day. It is just a fun time full of traditions old and new.

The roomies are gone for the weekend so I have to figure out what I am going to do without them....

Resting in the fact that God my father is in control and has perfect timing.

Since I am pretty sure that no one reads this blog, I am not going to update on the Dylan relationship. All you need to know is he ended it and I'm still getting over it. He said we were going to be friends, and then I don't hear from him. I am still hurting somewhat, but I know that God is helping me through it. I don't know how long it will take, but probably longer than I want. I saw him walking on the street the other day and it felt like someone punched me in the chest. When will it stop hurting? Will it ever? I sure hope so. I really just want to move on, but I will never fully understand what happened. I did forgive him though, but it's still a process of moving on.

Alright enough about the past....

Present news. I went back to school and made some new friends at church & school. Small group started tonight with a group of great people from church. We are going through a book called The Praying Life, which I'm excited for. I hope to strengthen my prayer life and relationship with my Father.

I feel like there is a ton on my mind and I either don't want to write it down or i don't know how.

This isn't really a blog that anyone would read unless you knew me. It is more of a journal for me to do some verbal throw up on.

I'm in a cranky mood... going to bed now.

Lord, help me to be at peace.

A Great Date

Sometimes I have so much on my mind and then when I go to write it down something happens and I can't put it all into words that sound good together. Our minds are so complex it amazes me. Think about all the things you think about in just one minute. All the faces of people you know that flash in your memory in that minute and the places you've been. Our minds are so quick it's crazy! Sometimes it's hard to think complete thoughts because all these other things keep jumping into my mind. God made us so incredibly intricate it blows my own mind. I'm glad he did though.

Ok... after that little ramble. I had a really great date with Dylan this weekend. We've been together for over 2 months and it's going really well. So I met him at work and then we took the bus down to Navy Pier, where I haven't been in a long time, and put our name in at Bubba Gump, where I have never been. Then we walked around and got some Garrett popcorn which was also a first for me. It was delicious. No wonder so many people love it. So we had a delicious meal at Bubba Gump then when that was over we went head to head in an intense game of putt-putt golf. We were neck and neck most of the game. There was this family behind us that had some cute kids that liked to talk to us. The little girls name was Pink, she was six and her brother was eleven. They cheered us on, "Girls rule, boys drool!". While we were playing Dylan documented it on his new iPhone which was pretty cool. So it got down to hole 18, which was difficult, and Dylan beat me be one putt. It's alright though, we both did a good job and each had 2 whole-in-ones, or "home runs" according to Pink. So after that we got in line at the ferris wheel, and when we finally got up there it was just in time for the fireworks to go off. It was perfect timing and a good show. Plus we got to see Chicago at night from the top. I love this city. After our one time around on the Ferris Wheel we headed home on the bus and watched some Steve Brule on the way. ha. We just have a lot of fun being together. Dylan is a really great guy and i'm excited for what God has in store for us. On Sunday I went to Dylan's church in the morning and listened to his band play. They did a really good job and Dylan is really talented when it comes to music. After church we hung out with his friends over a yummy lunch.

So if you can't tell... I really like this boy.

That's all for now folks.

I'm putting together a list of famous chairs that I want to own someday... Most likely not going to happen, but a girl can dream right? :)

Ok... so this is a lot I know. It kind of kept growing as I went along. ha.

I admire these designer's amazing creations for a lot of different reasons. Either they were very different and modern for their time, or the used a material in a new way that had never been done before. Plus they are just beautiful and timeless designs.

I'm sure there are many more that I could add to this list, but these are some of my favs for sure.

Enjoy!

I've missed blogging

So it has been a while since I've written about my life and i have missed it. I enjoy getting things out in words and writing down my thoughts and memories. A lot has happened since my last post. I started dating an amazing guy named Dylan. We met at the switchfoot concert back in February. The one that I got a random free ticket for from someone i didn't even know. I didn't see him for about a month (although I ran into him the day before my birthday when i got my hair cut) when we went to another concert, Copeland this time. He introduced me to them and it was amazing! That following Thursday we went on our first date. We went on a long walk down by the lake and just relaxed and talked about anything and everything. It was so easy to be around him. Then we got Thai food which was delicious! So we kept dating and became official on April 10. :) He is such a gentleman.

So that is one big thing. I also started an internship at Valcucine Chicago. We sell sustainable Italian kitchen cabinetry and furniture. I've been there for about 2 months now and it's going really well. It is hard to remember everything about our products sometimes, but i'm learning and making connections with professionals in my field. I like the people I work with too.

I also fart a lot.

GLEE is back!

LOST is almost over forever...

It's getting warm in the city and I even got a sunburn!

The census called us like 5 times to ask us the same questions on the paper!!

I'm going to Florida in 13 days!

Ok... That's all for now folks!

20 years ago my mom was in labor with me. Javan and Amanda were thrilled to be having another sibling and I'm sure Dad was excited too! I'm thinking back on life and my family and I'm really grateful for everything that God has given me. An amazing family with two parents who love me and take care of me no matter what. I have five siblings that are all so amazing in their own ways, of course we have our quarrels, but we will always love each other! I love my story and I'm excited to keep writing it! One day at a time.

I got my hair cut today. I very much enjoy that about once a month or so. Although for some reason I miscalculated time and showed up an hour early. ha. But I enjoyed chillin with Kyle and Michael for a while. I have some friends coming into town tomorrow for a concert at Lincoln Hall. It will be a fun time. I haven't seen a couple of them in a really long time! They're staying the night here and then Saturday night I'm having a party with family and friends. I'm pretty stoked about it! I haven't had a party of any kind since my going away party when I moved to Chicago. Then on Sunday night I'm going to another concert, Copeland! I've become a quick fan and i'm really excited about the show.

The picture about is me with some awesome strawberry shortcake kicks! I'm not sure how old I am there, but probably less than one. I don't have any bottom teeth, and I still have my birthmark. I eventually got it lasered off. I'm glad I don't remember that. ha.

p.s. I've been reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller... GOOD BOOK! And I don't really like reading.

Internship

Photo of the day! The moment right after we moved our tassels. One of my best friends in school, Ashley, and I were so excited! She was crying. We were 9 and 10 in our graduating class and got to sit on the front row. This picture was in the paper the next day! :)

So I've had a couple interviews about internships lately. Since I'm taking the summer off from classes I want to get an internship to keep my busy so that i'm not sitting on my butt for 4 months. The first lady I talked to has a show room in the suburbs and I liked her, but there is no way for me to get there and if i did have a way it would take about an hour to get there. So I turned her down. On Thursday I met with the showroom manager of Valcucine. It is an Italian company that specializes in residential kitchen design. They're products are really great. They are a sustainable company which I like, and their designs are beautiful. They work with designers and the general public. I would be able to go with them when they give presentations to firms and I would get a lot of experience. My friend who works at the Merchandise Mart sent out my resume to a bunch of showrooms too which I am mighty grateful for and I've gotten at least 5 e-mails from them, but so far I'm leaning toward Valcucine the most. It is a smaller showroom and I would be doing the same things that the other employees do. So the downside about all of these is that they aren't paid, but I'll be happy for the experience. Hopefully the economy will pick up some more and maybe i'll get a pay after 6 months or so.

Codi and I went on a walk down to the lake this morning. It was such a sunny and slightly warmer day. There is still snow all over, but we can tell that spring is on its way. While we were down by the water we just laid down on the cement and listened to the water. It was so peaceful. Thinking about God and his wonderful creation. The seasons are a fascinating thing to me, I don't know about you. : ) Just the thought of God being in everything and everywhere is so great! He is in the wind brushing against our cheeks! I'm exploring new things and rediscovering Him all the time. He is always with me even when I'm feeling my loneliest! He is my Father who loves me. I just need to remind myself of all these things all the time. He will not forsake me :)

Thank you for your love oh God!

Little nuggets

It has been a little while since I've blogged. I guess I've been kind of busy, which is a good thing. For a while there I was so bored all the time. I sat at home on the weekends, sometimes by myself, which is really unhealthy for me. Although I did learn to turn my loneliness into good God time. Then i didn't feel so alone anymore. I've struggled with loneliness a lot on and off throughout my life. It gets to the point where I feel silly that I even feel that way, but it's not something that I can just make go away. So I'm glad that I have a mighty and intimate God. He helps me get through my days.

I'm going through a study called Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be and it is helping me have a Christ centered mindset on a daily basis. Everything really goes back to Him. If I'm having an issues I can pray to Him and ask for guidance, patience, or whatever I need at the moment. But I can't just ask all the time. Its not a one way street. I have to take time out of my day to spend personal time with Him and I'm getting better at that. It makes my perspective on life better I think. Even when I have crappy days He is still there being the amazing God that He always has been. I love that. His love and forgiveness is unconditional. I know I can always rely on him.

So things that have been going on lately... A week ago I went to a Switchfoot concert which was really amazing! I got a free ticket from a girl I didn't even know. She told a friend who told my pastor who told my small group leader who called me. ha. So I went and ran into a guy from church and his brother and hung out with them all night. We had a really good time! We are going to another concert, Copeland, in a couple weeks which I'm excited for!

I've been playing my keyboard more recently. Working on my chording and I'm actually getting better! I really enjoy it. Makes for some good personal worship time for sure.

School is going well... pretty easy actually :) The semester is half way over all ready. I can't believe it. It seams like I was just home for Christmas break. Time is flying by. I'm so excited for spring to come and I'm taking the summer off from school which will be an amazing time I hope. So many things to do! I'm going to try to make the most of it and seize each day. I am working on getting an internship too though so i'll be doing that 2-3 days a week which will be exciting.

So that's all for now folks...

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

Valentines and such

So today is February 14th. The day where couples go out, share their love with each other in a special way, and perhaps exchange gifts. I have only had a valentine a couple of times. The roses and chocolates are definitely nice. I even got a teddy bear once :) They are nice memories, and I look forward to the Valentine's Day's that I will share with my husband. It's a nice thought.

But for now i'm a single lady. (All my single ladies... haha) Anyways... There are things that i like about being single such as being able to go out with whoever and whenever. My friend Dave took me out to a little French restaurant on Thursday night and we had a really nice time. We always have good conversation and we get to try new foods together. This time it was Escargot... Snails that is! They didn't have a lot of flavor, but garlic and butter make everything good! My favorite item of the night was the peanut butter and chocolate crepe! Dave and I share a strong love for peanut butter.

Although I have these good times, I still have this longing to be somebodies number one woman! Someone to do nice things for, to talk to when i need, to learn new things with, to grow in Christ with, and many other things that I sometimes feel like i'm missing out on. I know that God has a plan for me, and I'm sure he knows who my husband will be. I don't know how long I have to wait, but I'm trying to have a good and patient attitude about it. Gods timing is perfect. A funny fact is that my grandmums (great grandma), grandma, mom, and sister were all married before they were 20! I'll be the first in a line of girls to not follow the trend. None of them have a college degree either, which I will have in a couple years. It's exciting but i feel like i'm missing out on some things too. I figure that I am where I am for a reason and that everything is going be fine. The future is such a strange thing. Every moment we are moving forward in time, and there is no going back. I feel like some people spend too much time thinking about their past. Maybe complaining about how they didn't do something the way they wished, or how great they were in their younger years. I think it's good to remember our pasts, but we should spend more time living for Jesus in the present and planning our future. Taking our past mistakes and learning from them.

So i have majorly digressed from Valentine's Day but that's okay. It's just how our minds work... they start somewhere and run elsewhere. ha.

I know that God loves me more than anyone on this Earth ever will and I am grateful for that! Jesus gave his life to save us... sinners. Thank you!

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

SHOES!

So I've decide that i'm going to do a photo of the day. Like a snap shot of a moment in my life. They might be old or new; silly or serious. I hope you enjoy them... whoever you are reading this.

This was taken when I first moved to my new apartment. All of my shoes! Around 50 pairs. ha. I have at least 5-7 more now. I am a little bit addicted, but i almost Always get a good deal on them :)

Sorry Colts

So today my team, The Indianapolis Colts, went to the Super Bowl in Miami. I was super excited and really confident that we could pull out the national championship. We played really well at the beginning. Had a field goal and a touch down before the Saints put up any points. We were up at the half yet didn't really bring the heat in the rest of the game. We didn't make the big plays and the saints did. So the final score was 31-17. Peyton Manning let me down this time. I bet he's feeling pretty crappy tonight. Sorry dude. So i'm sad yet i know life will go on. I'm still a huge Colts fan and I always will be. Lets hope we can make it all the way next year!

Even though the Colts lost I had a fun time with my buddy Ryan and his friends. Thanks for cheering my team on with me :)

On a different note...

I went to our early service at church this morning. Pastor Mark delivered a really great message over 1 Peter 1:3-8. It basically sums up to the fact that when we accept Jesus into our hearts we receive the Divine Nature and our Sinful Human Nature is crucified with Christ. We have the ability to use that Divine Nature through the knowledge of Christ. We should be active participants in that nature. This makes Christianity different from any self-improvement program. Those only have the ability to change your behavior or personality and Christ can change your core nature. We must live for Jesus, make every effort to add to our faith, and yield to the holy spirit inside of us. If you don't live this way you are blind.

Thank You God for Music

And with outstretched arms

I will sing out melodies

And my beating heart

Will pour out a symphony

Hallelujah's in the morning

Hallelujah's in the night

I will wait for you as long as I have life

- Phil Wickham -

Music is such a large part of my life. There is something about the strumming of a guitar that jerks on my heart strings. A great melody line can make me melt into a pool of bliss and joy. Certain chords make me feel like I could fly. Beautiful harmonies flowing together is something that is sometimes indescribable. I hope that everyone experiences music the way that I do. If not, they're missing out. When I sing in the shower it just seems to brighten my day. The tunes and beats that make me get up and dance can turn my mood from gloomy to bright. So what if I love to shake what my mama (or daddy) gave me! Sometimes I wish my life was a musical. At times when i'm walking along the side walk listening to a sweet tune on my ipod I envision all the people around me dancing in unison... swinging around light poles, stopping traffic, and just having a grand old time. Music brings people together. It is a universal language. A sad ballad is full of meaning even if it's in a different language and you have no idea what is being sung. One reason why I love Josh Groban. Somehow I know what he's trying to say even though i don't understand the words. I've sung in French, Spanish, Latin, German, Swahili, and others. Every time i put the same emotion into the song as if it were in English because of the music.

I miss performing solos and with the choirs that I was in. I love to share my talent with people. I thank God so much for giving it to me! Especially when i get to use it to praise Him.

The picture above is of me singing in my high school talent show my senior year. That was almost two years ago now.

I'm really liking this whole blogging thing :) I hope someone out there is enjoying it with me.

Thanks for reading... until next time.

Recent Thoughts

So i'm writing this blog not really knowing what it's going to be about. We'll see where it takes me. :)

This week has gone by so quickly and i can't believe that it will be Friday in an hour. Classes are going really well and I haven't had too much homework lately. It is a huge change compared to the last four semesters. I can't believe I've been in college for almost two whole years! Sometimes I still feel like a little girl who doesn't really know all that much about this life. I have so many things that i want to do and experience. This summer i'm going to get my first job! Even if it is an unpaid internship. ha. I'm going to be so nervous but I know that I can do it if I put my mind to it.

Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.

1 Timothy 4:12

I've started a women's small group at church (actually it's pretty large). It's called Becoming the Woman God Wants You to Be. I'm enjoying it so far. I think i need to dig a little deeper though and make it more personal. We're only four days in though. We have a kick boxing session before the study time. I'm enjoying it even though it's tough at times. I like the feeling of doing something good for my body since I usually despise working out of any kind. I hope that through the 90 day study i become a more noble and mature woman. I hope it prepares me for some future things in my life as well... like being a good wife :) I've wanted to get married for so long ha. But I know my time will come in God's own timing. I don't really like waiting around and feeling lonely, but I've gotten somewhat used to it and hopefully I've acquired some patience as well.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

There are many more things i could talk about... lots of stuff going on in my head, but i think that's all for tonight. Hopefully i can keep this up. I like it.

The Beginning

So i've decided to start blogging. I've found that there are lots of things I'd like to write down. Nor necessarily for the sake of others reading pleasure, but for me. I've kept journals over the years and it helps to just right down thoughts and experiences.

So this is the beginning of my blog.

I hope you enjoy and follow along in my crazy life.

<3